April 10, 2013

I

I sit here alone, thoroughly abandoned, and deservingly so. Awash in paralytic dread, I mourn what I have not yet lost, but know will soon be stolen from me. I yearn to believe hope is not dying, I long to hold it near, to cherish it dearly. I ache to know some degree of stability; struggle to somehow make it last, even for just a moment longer. But assigned the jester’s roll, I am yet again the patch, never the permanent fixture. Brilliant shimmering trinkets surround me, I see their shine, their gleam, yet I shield my eyes from the pain I know awaits if I gaze upon them. To feel what I have felt, to know what I have know, to watch it dissolve from a distance is a torture I cannot express. I slam my fists impudently against this barbed barrier, but again, I act the fool. I can only hide for so long. Reality slams against my senses, intrudes upon my torment, dares me to call this solitude. This damning truth insists that I allow the glimmer to dim, to see with wide eyes what would be shown to me, that which will be stolen from me. Yet still, for all the anguish, the tears, the pain that will not allow me to draw even a single quelling breath, I see beauty. I see only you.

I’m doing the 2013 Blogging from A to Z Challenge! Pop back everyday but Sunday through the month of April for a new letter prompt to spawn my deranged ramblings! ;}

About Nina D'Arcangela

Nina D’Arcangela is a quirky horror writer who likes to spin soul rending snippets of despair. She reads anything from splatter matter to dark matter. She's an UrbEx adventurer who suffers from unquenchable wanderlust. She loves to photograph abandoned places, bits of decay and old grave yards. Nina is a co-owner of Sirens Call Publications, a co-founder of the horror writer's group 'Pen of the Damned', founder and administrator of the Ladies of Horror Picture-prompt Monthly Writing Challenge, and if that isn't enough, put a check mark in the box next to owner and resident nut-job of Dark Angel Photography. View all posts by Nina D'Arcangela

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 10th, 2013 at 1:37 am and tagged with A to Z Challenge, alone, beauty, hope, hurt, I, loss, muse, Nina D, Nina D'Arcangela, pain and posted in 2013 Blogging from A to Z Challenge, muse, pain. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

6 responses to “I”

moondustwriter
April 10th, 2013 at 10:14 am

Reminds me of broken glass both fragile and beautiful
Nice prose there dark angel

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- Nina D'Arcangela
  April 10th, 2013 at 12:12 pm
  
  Thank you, moondustwriter! I do my best not to smother others in doom and gloom, but it is sort of my thing… 😉
  
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35andupcynicismonhold
April 10th, 2013 at 1:03 pm

wow! “I am yet again the patch, never the permanent fixture.” so poignant yet beautiful… 🙂 hello, Nina…

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- Nina D'Arcangela
  April 10th, 2013 at 1:27 pm
  
  Thank you very much, and hello to you as well! 🙂
  
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storiesbywilliams
April 10th, 2013 at 11:46 pm

Indeed, nice work here. What was the inspiration? Is it a person trapped in the metaphorical prison known as self and depression? Or is this a literal prison? Or something else entirely that I’m missing?

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- Nina D'Arcangela
  April 11th, 2013 at 10:54 am
  
  Fully metaphoric. A reflection of the subjects self as she watches her world unravel, knows it will continue to disintegrate around her, but can do nothing to stop it.
  
  I’m glad you liked it, Matt! 🙂
  
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