I sit here alone, thoroughly abandoned, and deserving so. Awash in paralytic dread, I mourn what I have not yet lost, but know will soon be stolen from me. I yearn to believe hope is not dying, I long to hold it near, to cherish it dearly. I ache to know some degree of stability; struggle to somehow make it last, even for just a moment longer. But assigned the jester’s roll, I am yet again the patch, never the permanent fixture. Brilliant shimmering trinkets surround me, I see their shine, their gleam, yet I shield my eyes from the pain I know awaits if I gaze upon them. To feel what I have felt, to know what I have known, to watch it dissolve from a distance is a torture I cannot express. I batter my fists impudently against this unrelenting barrier, but again, I act the fool. I can only hide for so long. Reality slams against my senses, intrudes upon my torment, dares me call this solace. This damning truth insists that I allow the glimmer to dim, to see with wide eyes what would be shown to me, that which will be stolen from me. Yet still, for all the anguish, the tears, the pain that will not allow me to draw even a single quelling breath, I see beauty. I see only you.
© Copyright Nina D’Arcangela.
March 22nd, 2015 at 1:09 pm
Everything you write is exquisite, Nina. This is no different. I love this :}
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March 22nd, 2015 at 1:17 pm
Thank you, Joe. It’s a reboot… but I was feeling it today. ;}
March 22nd, 2015 at 1:18 pm
I haven’t read it before. Regardless, it’s wonderful :}
March 22nd, 2015 at 1:20 pm
Then as FOX5 used to say, ‘It’s new to you…’ Thank you very much!! :}
March 22nd, 2015 at 3:43 pm
This was so beautiful, yet so hard to read. You are amazing.
March 23rd, 2015 at 5:34 pm
Thank you, Hunter. Life can be a sadistic mistress draped in the finest of silks… beautiful to look upon, but unbearable at the same time.
March 22nd, 2015 at 8:05 pm
Beautiful, you are so good. I have to get back to writing. School and work are so annoying…
March 23rd, 2015 at 5:37 pm
Thank you, Patrick! I hope school is going well. All in due time, right? 😉
April 2nd, 2015 at 1:48 pm
There are those days aren’t there?
fragile are her days
spring breeze taunts her hold on life
clinging to sepia
You are loved on all the days 🙂
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April 2nd, 2015 at 5:09 pm
Beautiful, Leslie 🙂
July 11th, 2015 at 2:17 pm
Unbelievably moving, Nina.
July 11th, 2015 at 3:42 pm
Thank you! A painful one, but then most of them are. Thanks for dropping by, and I enjoyed your ‘…as red as his neck’ post! 🙂